My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
