I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
