Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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