ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
