Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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