That's intense
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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