fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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