I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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