Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
