Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize