dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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