Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Holy shit dude........stairs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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