I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
