i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
