**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so explain again why im purple
no
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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