i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
