they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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