Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
