their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
