I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
