Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
