is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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