Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
