haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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