shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
