My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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