he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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