That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
