i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If I die, sorry about rent.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
