I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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