I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
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Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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