But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
