When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
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Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
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I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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