Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
