The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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