I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
