how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
