Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
