hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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