Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex

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(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

wtf

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...

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(239): View more from Florida

I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!

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(770): View more from Georgia

All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.

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(281): View more from Texas

I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass

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(216): View more from Ohio

I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it

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(214): View more from Texas

Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later

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