I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize