Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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