even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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