I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
