I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I met the friendliest cop last night
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
