Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
