No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
