i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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