Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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