girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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