if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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