omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
