I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
