So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
