I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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